Overview – Jigsaw has killed your partner and destroyed your life. Now he has trapped you in an abandoned insane asylum that he alone controls. If you can defeat his brutal traps and survive, you may just discover the truth behind what drives this twisted serial killer. SAW is a third-person perspective, survival horror game based on the SAW film franchise, which has grossed more than 5M worldwide and sold more than 28 million DVDs. The game features many of the deadly mechanical traps seen in the film, as well as terrifying new ones. Players will pit their wits against Jigsaw as they navigate his world in an attempt to evade and escape his gruesome traps, while also struggling against his minions in brutal combat by using weapons found within the environment. SAW, the video game, is based on a treatment from Zombie Studios and the creators of the SAW franchise, Leigh Whannell and James Wan. The timeline for the game takes place between the movies: SAW and SAW II, giving the game its own story, yet fitting within the narratives of the movies. The story centers on Detective David Tapp who awakens in a decrepit, abandoned asylum. He has been captured by his longtime nemesis, Jigsaw. Obsessed with catching this serial killer, Tapp?s mission has consumed him and ruined his family, resulting in divorce, mental imbalance, and abandonment. Worse yet, this frantic hunt destroyed Tapp?s career while he watched his long-time friend and partner get killed by one of Jigsaw?s traps. Now Jigsaw has the upper hand and has captured the detective. Tapp must play a deadly game?the likes of which he has been investigating for years?to escape, and in order to do so he must survive the lethal traps and puzzles that Jigsaw has put in place for him and others. But each victim has a dark connection to Tapp. Will Tapp save them? Can he survive his obsession to find the Jigsaw killer? Product Features – Traps of Lethal Cunning: Jigsaw has laid out a gauntlet of torturous traps for a handful of innocents. Only you stand between them and the most brutal death imaginable. Think quickly and act! The clock is ticking. – Choices of conscience: The player is forced to make difficult moral choices. Who lives and who dies in the game is determined by the player’s choices. – Mysteries Revealed: Unanswered questions from the films are finally laid to rest. Gamers will discover the origin of Jigsaw and why he devoted his life to games, while also finding out what happened to the characters from the first SAW movie. – An Ecology of Terror: The asylum in which Jigsaw has trapped you is abandoned, but it is far from empty. It is a living world of horror populated by Jigsaw’s minions and the insane souls they torture and they have no intention of letting you leave.
List Price:
Price: 54.9
Everybody who has played Dungeons & Dragons has played at least one session revolving around Count Strahd von Zarovich and Castle Ravenloft. In fact, one of our friends played in a campaign in which he one-shotted Strahd with a clever combination of holy water and giant loopholes. (The rules lawyer at the table was thrilled. The DM? Furious.) The problem is, with our crazy busy lives, we don’t have time for any more D&D campaigns. Wouldn’t it be great to be able to hop in and out of Castle Ravenloft with whoever happens to be sitting around on a Friday night? Now you can! The Castle Ravenloft Board game is absolutely fantastic. We say this as D&D players and DMs. We say this as board game geeks. We say this as zombie & vampire fans. There isn’t a part of us that can say anything less about this game. Allow us to gush about the reasons why you’ll love it. Feels like D&D, but rules-light: The map, the minis, the powers, the rolling of the sacred polyhedral die. It’s all there. But all the fiddly little rules and numbers that make D&D intimidating to newbies are gone. It’s the perfect game for initiating your non-gamer spouse, friend, or kid to D&D. Cooperative Play: Players work toward a common goal, with each class having a skill that benefits the party. There’s no DungeonMaster, either. As monster cards are drawn, the player who drew the monster controls its movement and attacks. Everyone gets to be the DM! Everything Included: This box is HUGE. 40 plastic heroes and monsters, 13 sheets of interlocking cardstock dungeon tiles, 200 encounter and treasure cards, a rulebook, a scenario book, and a d20. Never The Same Game Twice: The interlocking dungeon tiles are shuffled for each game, making Castle Ravenloft’s floor plan different each time you visit. For each game, you choose a scenario from the scenario book to determine which special room tiles are in your stack and what your party’s goal will be. Will you fight Strahd himself or take on the dracolich? Every scenario is a different gameplay experience and some are much more deadly than others. The 200 encounter, monster, and treasure cards also add to the unique flavor of every game. Also awesome? Castle Ravenloft is playable with anywhere between one and five players. Play it solo, play it with your significant other, play it with the whole family or your gaming group. The flexibility of the Castle Ravenloft Board Game is what truly makes it phenomenal and why it will never get dusty in our game closet.
List Price:
Price: 69.99
How many screens do you come across on a daily basis? You roll over in the morning and grab your smartphone to do a quick review of your inbox to see if anything exciting happened overnight. While noshing on your Tribbles n’Bits cereal, you catch the weather and traffic on TV. Then it’s off to work, where you probably spend 8 hours staring at a monitor. A quick trip to the gym gets that cardio out of the way while studying zombie flicks on your iPod. Back home, you relax in front of the TV again to catch your favorite shows. That’s a lot of screens – how many of them are clean? How many have a film of dead skin cells settled on them? (Ew, we know.) If you’re anything like us, you’re probably searching for a safe and effective way to keep those screens sparkling clean. The TV Clean uses a NASA-formulated rubber pick-up roller which acts like a magnet for dust and lint particles. Roll it gently across your screen and it’ll remove loose particles down to 1 micron in size. How small is a micron? Freakin’ tiny. You can’t see particles smaller than 15 microns. A second, adhesive roll behind the rubber roller cleans the rubber roller of its particles, capturing them so they never return. No streaks, no scratches, no stickiness, and no cleaning chemicals that could hurt your precious monitors. Use it on all of your windows to the world for the ultimate in pixel perfection.
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Price: 59.99
ASTRA Best Toy for Kids List – 2009 Parents’ Choice Gold Award – 2009 iParenting Media Awards Best Products of 2009 Our copywriter monkey will admit she both loves and hates puzzles. She enjoys figuring things out and the vast sense of accomplishment when a puzzle is defeated, but if she can’t figure something out she’ll throw a mental tantrum and lose sleep for weeks. Srsly, she’ll have dreams about the puzzle and come in to work looking like a pink-haired zombie. If you are like her, the 36 Cube is not for you. You will probably lose sleep, friends, family, your job, and your house in the attempt to figure it out. Now that you’ve had the warning, read on… The 36 Cube is a 3D sudoku puzzle that consists of a gray base that looks like a city skyline and 36 colored towers. The towers come in six different colors and six different heights. Your mission – should you accept it – is to place all the towers onto the base and form a level cube with each of the six colors appearing once and only once in each row and column. It seems simple until you get 34 of the 36 towers placed and then realize you’ve done something wrong and have to start all over again. What’s even more unnerving – you can’t solve this puzzle by writing a computer program to do the logic for you. You’ll have to rely on your own brain, nerds. Good luck.
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Price: 17.99
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Yep, the time when you’d rather be playing Call of Duty: Black Ops but instead are having to scour the internet (or – *shudder* the mall) for presents for people you really don’t even like that much. This year, take it easy on yourself (and your wallet) and give the gift that keeps on giving – annoyance! Gift your friend/loved one/enemy with this Trojan Horse style present… it looks just like a standard innocent Christmas ornament. But when your victim hangs it on the tree the weight triggers a switch that causes the ornament to power-up and periodically emit beeps, mosquito tones, Christmas crickets, and elf giggles at random intervals. Merry Christmas insanity! Based on our popular Annoy-a-tron prank device, the TannenBomb is sure to drive your giftee (victim) totally bonkers as they search in vain for the source of the intermittent noises. Little do they know it’s coming from their own Christmas tree! Since the batteries inside the TannenBomb last for months and the device silently turns off when removed from the tree you’ll be sure of many happy returns for your loved ones. Yep. Pat yourself on the back for another successful gifting season conquered. Product Features A tree ornament with a special annoying surprise The weight of the ornament when hanging on the tree silently triggers the on switch Emits random annoying sounds at random intervals: Beep Mosquito tone (ultra high frequency nerve grating sound) Christmas cricket Elf giggle Comes in a double box: an outer box with prank directions, and a festive stealth inner gift box which gives no indication of its prank nature. Perfect gift for your boss, annoying coworkers, and “friends” Stylish Zombie Robot motif is always festive Fits any standard Christmas tree
List Price:
Price: 11.99
It’sh Happy Hour shomewhere, right? Shince we joined the Brew of the Month Club, we’ve been drinking shome tashty alesh… hic! Every month, a new brew gets mailed right to our doorshtep. Talk about shervice…hic! Don’t even need to go nowhere to get our drink on. But shix beersh is never enough. Not for ush at leasht… hic! Sho if’n you want to talk with ush, head on over to the Shtonefire Tavern in Ironforge and you’ll find ush throwing back the brewshkish and /dance-ing our monkey buttsh off. The Shpringtime Shtout is really putting a shpring in our shtep… hic! And we’re loving drinking it out of theshe beautiful Warcraft Shteins! Dragonflightsh Each masshive shtein has a panoramic image of all five incredible Dragon Ashpects. There’s Nozdorumu the Timelessh One, Alexshtrashza the Life-Binder, Yshera the Dreamer, Malygos the Shpell-Weaver, and… and… you remember the name of the last one? …hic! Oh yeah, Neltharion the Earth-Warder. That guy. Aweshome artwork by James Zhang. Alliance United You a night elf or shomethin’? Maybe a gnome with pink Prinshess Leia bunsh named Bunhead? (Oh, you ish sho creative…hic!) If you’re part of the besht faction ever, show your shupport by drinking out of thish here shtein with artwork by Sam Didier and Glenn Rane. Blood of the Horde Everyone knows the Horde ish the besht evar… hic! Where elshe can you be a cow or a rock n’roll zombie? FOR THE HORDE…hic! Get your drink on with thish here shtein of Hordishness with artwork by Sam Didier and Glenn Rane. All three of theshe are handshome shteins made of fine-grain shtoneware and a sholid pewter shculpted lid… hic! Holdsh your beers inside when you’re /dance-ing, they do.
List Price:
Price: 99.99
Bringing life back to lifeless tissue is no small feat. It requires a massive amount of power slammed into a body capable of sustaining that spark of life. That means a body with a heart and a brain. Hearts are easy – a dime a dozen, but brains are very touchy things. Choose well, and your creation could be tapdancing his way across Broadway, cheered on by adoring fans! Choose poorly and it’s pitchforks and fire and tears. Sending your underlings out on an important errand, like collecting brains, is a recipe for disaster. Chances are good that through either idiocy, or macular degeneration, your behumped minion will choose an abnormal brain instead of a super-genius brain. Well, if you’re a super-genius, yourself, you’re left making lemonade out of lemons. Such is your lot in life. Like Dr. Frankenstein, we have a predilection for brains. Perhaps we’re part zombie, maybe because we’re all incredibly smart siminas, but it could also be that there’s a freakin’ brain in our company logo. Either way, we saw these little soaps in jars and had to have them. It could be the fact that they’re glycerine based with olive oil, palm oil and shea butter. It could be the sweet raspberry scent, or it could be just how deliciously they look like brains! It doesn’t matter. We just want to get our hands on them, and when we do, we want to wash those dirty dirty hands clean!
List Price:
Price: 19.99
Ah, greeting cards. When you don’t know what to say, or you’re too cheap to buy a real gift. Full of poetry and not-so-funny jokes and cartoons of grumpy old ladies claiming to be 29 again. Barf. We’re looking to revolutionize the greeting card industry here at ThinkGeek, and we’re starting with the Scary Greeting Card ATTACK! Scary Greeting Card ATTACK! is perfect for that coworker that you are SO THANKFUL for having on your team for that last project. OMG YOU LOVED how they nitpicked everything you said or did. YOU LOOKED FORWARD to those long meetings every morning in which nothing got accomplished. And that one time they stole your favorite mug from your desk and used it to drink cup o’ soup and then left it on the kitchen counter overnight so the noodles hardened to the ceramic like tiny tapeworms? GLEE! Wow, THANK YOU for being part of the team. This card features a beautiful, sunny scene complete with double rainbow and the words “Thank You!” on the cover. What a great way to say thanks to this very special person in your life. But this innocuous-looking card hides a terrible secret. Address it to your favorite coworker and leave it on their desk when they’re not around. When they open it, they’ll be treated to a horrific image and piercing scream. It’s even more rewarding than those “stare at this picture” memes that went around years ago because you’ll get to hear the scream from the corner office and giggle while you sip your coffee. Brilliant. Product Features A sappy card with a bloody surprise inside Great for pranking people you “care about” Double rainbow and “Thank You” on the outside Screaming sound effect when opened to reveal a disturbing zombie baby May be amplified by the sound of your “friend” screaming Batteries and envelope included
List Price:
Price: 6.99
